The Game Is Never Over
How Dating Apps Mess With Our Minds?
Dating apps can feel more like a video game than a real relationship. For some people, they’ve become the new PlayStation—an addiction to winning rather than connecting.
Whether you’re searching for love or a quick hook-up, if you’ve joined one (or more) dating apps, chances are you’ve spent a lot of time swiping left and right. Dating apps have completely changed how people meet and connect, but they’ve also started to mess with our minds, reshaping the rules of how we think about dating and relationships.
In 2018, HBO released a documentary called Swiped: Hooking Up in the Digital Age. It explores the darker side of dating app culture and highlights one key ingredient behind their success: addiction. Dating apps are intentionally designed to feel like video games. Every time we swipe and get a match, our brain releases a rush of dopamine—the same chemical response we get from winning a round or leveling up in a game. The uncertainty of what comes next keeps us engaged, pushing us to swipe again and again.
2025 article from Cosmopolitan magazine shares that experts warn that constantly chasing this rush can come at a high cost to our mental health. Increased anxiety, lower self-esteem, body image issues, and commitment problems are all linked to excessive dating app use.
So, can we use dating apps without letting them harm us?
One expert suggestion is to set limits. Try restricting your swiping to a short window—five to ten minutes a day, or two to three times per week. (Trust, you won’t miss much excitement.) You can also limit the number of profiles you view in one session. Just as important is checking in with yourself before opening the app. If you’re swiping because you feel lonely, insecure, or in need of validation, the experience may actually make those feelings worse instead of better.
It’s also important to be mindful of how we treat others. People are not disposable—don’t swipe right just to boost your ego. And if you feel like you’ve had enough of swiping left and right, go outside and meet people in real life. It’s an old-school alternative, but it’s still proven, more human, and often more meaningful.
Have fun, and remember, eye contact is still the most powerful swipe.
Why People Get Addicted to the Virtual Relationship Game?
SWIPING
Fast swiping turns dating into a simple game mechanic: yes or no, win or lose, next round. With so little context, people stop feeling like humans and start feeling like profiles.
REWARDS
Matches, notifications, and messages trigger small dopamine hits, similar to earning points or leveling up in a game. The focus shifts from genuine connection to collecting matches.
THE GAME IS NEVER OVER
Just like in games, you can restart at any time. On dating apps, you can unmatch, ghost, or move on instantly, often without consequences. Because of this, people invest less emotionally.
TOO MANY CHOICES, TOO LITTLE TIME
When there are hundreds of options, it’s hard to slow down and truly value one person. Games work the same way—if another level is always available, you don’t stay long on the current one.
PERFORMANCE OVER AUTHENTICITY
Many profiles lack authenticity. People focus on perfect photos, clever (often exaggerated) bios, and strategic texting. It can feel like playing a character instead of being yourself.
REAL RELATIONSHIPS NEED TIME AND REAL FACE-TO-FACE CONNECTION
Dating apps are fast and surface-level by design, while real relationships grow through shared experiences—fun moments, awkward moments, and emotional risk. These are things dating apps can’t fully provide.